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Joke of the Day

"A werewolf is chasing you. Your life flashes before your eyes: crappy jobs, breakups, Ren fairs. The werewolf gets depressed and goes home."

"I walked into the Urgent Care bathroom and read a sign that said ""Nothing other than Toilet Paper in the Toilet"" So I Shit on the floor and flushed the toilet paper."

"[at the race] ""RUNNERS ON YOUR MARK"" Mark: ouch!"

"Why hadn't the law graduate and the bartender ever met? The graduate never passed the bar"

"What do you call a horse that's thinking of home? Mentally in-stable."

"Did you guys hear that the hadron accelerator exploded? It was mass murder."

"My girlfriend is like John Cena I can't see her :("

"What do you call a person who speaks three languages Trilingual What do you call a person who speaks 2 languages Bilingual What do you call a person who speaks 1 language American"

"Punctuation is the difference between ""Love trumps hate""... and ""Love Trump's hate."""

"On behalf of all of my black followers, I'd like to remind you all to fuck the police today."