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Joke of the Day

"Why do midgets have bad breath? Because their asses are closer to their mouths."

"Which villain did Batman face when he suffered a fatal masturbation accident? Deathstroke."

"Toasts are like parents... If they are black, you have nothing to eat"

"Whats the hardest part about eating vegetables? The wheelchair"

"Stop saying ""There's plenty of fish in the sea."" I'm sick of fish seducing all our human women!"

"Did you hear about the ambidextrous golfer? He swings both ways."

"[at seance] Me: If you truly are a ghost why don't you move this object Ghost: If you truly are a human why don't you get your shit together"

"President Lincoln ""I'm going to miss you, President Lincoln,"" said John Wilkes Booth. Booth lied. He didn't."

"I hate it when TV shows say they contain ""adult situations"" but then don't show anyone going to a job they hate, paying their bills or cleaning up their kid's vomit."

"Nice weather guys, lets have the internet outside today..."