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Joke of the Day

"I find gay sex disgusting, with all that penetration and stuff That is why I just ask guys to come on my face"

"Do you know what band really bugs me? The Aphid Brothers"

"I hate when people say, ""You barely touched your food"" like what do you want me to do stroke it?"

"Losing your virginity is a lot like learning to ride a bike... Dad is holding you from behind the whole time"

"You know what's a job I could really see myself doing? Mirror inspector."

"What do you call a jewish Pokemon trainer? Ash."

"Dad said I need to be the rock for a friend who is having a tough time. Currently practicing that eyebrow thing & wrestling moves."

"one of these days, johnny depp's scarves are going to rise up and destroy him"

"picture a bunch of dogs at a bar getting drunk off of a beer called air bud light"

"While building a house in Kansas, Chuck Norris was dared to dig a hole as deep as he could. Chuck Norris dug so deep that the next day there were Squirrels with slanted eyes on his front lawn."