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Joke of the Day

"I wish I had one original thought in life. Don't be sorry, everyone does."

"The front desk lady at this remote motel is barely concealing her howling desire to graphically murder me. I'll be honest, it's refreshing."

"Women don't deserve to be paid as much as men and should stay in the kitchen. I'd go on, but that's the misogyngist of it."

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Licksalotapuss. What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass."

"You can always tell a guy masturbates a lot, by his hands. If you look closely, you'll see a wedding ring."

"I have days when wearing a hat is the only use I have made of my head."

"What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months? I think we should sea otter people."

"What was Hitler's favorite animal? Da cow"

"Knock, knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him."

"Falafel is a weird name cuz I actually falgreat every time I eat one"