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Joke of the Day

"No matter how white-hot my rage feels, I have been unable to clear the snow off my driveway by giving it the finger."

"Hey, guys. Love college basketball? You should see this thing CBS is doing this weekend. Crazy!"

"If the rumors about Apple manufacturing a driverless car... Then I can't wait to drive into the middle of the Atlantic ocean!"

"Every commercial for every product should have a scientist looking into a microscope. That gives me the confidence to buy"

"How are skunks able to avoid danger? By using their instinks and common scents!"

"How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just sit in the dark and cry."

"I like my women like I like my microwave Hot, clean, and she'll kill any baby I put inside her."

"Apparently O.J. Simpson is getting remarried He decided to take another stab at it"

"funny how people who earn philosophy degrees probably at some point ask themselves ""why did i do this"""

"What is the difference between a banana and a bell? You can only peel (peal) the banana once."