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Joke of the Day

"All my life, I thought air was free... ... until I bought a bag of crisps!"

"[talking to daughter's art major boyfriend] ""You know who else had a pointy beard? Satan."""

"OMG! My boss has choked on his sandwich and stopped breathing!! Should I call an ambulance? Its been 16hrs.. I didn't wanna make a fuss."

"What is the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has its claws at the end of its paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause."

"Had Irish 7 coarse meal for lunch today 6 pack and a baked potato. Was delicious!"

"A short and a long joke * joke * JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE"

"Where do muslim terrorists go when they die? INTO BUILDINGS"

"My principal doesn't allow guns in school... ...So i had to put on a long sleeve shirt"

"I always buy computers that are black. Generally, they run faster and have a bigger hard drive."

"I hate when I get so stoned that I can barely feel my legs and arms and antlers and wings."