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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? A picture only takes one nail to hang up."

"What to you call a Russian flea ? A Moscow-ito !"

"What does a dyslexic,agnostic and insomniac spend most of his time doing? Staying up all night thinking if there really is a dog"

"I am 24 seconds older than my twin brother... ... whenever I come out of the toilet I start a sentence with ""When I was your age...."" then proceed telling him the details of my majestic creation."

"Who steals from the poor and gives to the rich? Robbin' hood"

"A pirate walks into a bar with his ship's steering wheel shoved down his pants. The bartender says, ""hey pirate that's got to be hard to walk with."" Pirate says, ""aye, it be driving me nuts."""

"I can see your camouflage pants, so they're not working."

"Yesterday I avoided a rape of a woman - And how you did it? - I convinced her."

"Why does America spell some words differently? They said ""We can do it without u, Britain."""

"Why are lemons yellow? They don't know it either - that's why they are so sour"