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Joke of the Day

"Hey Joseph, Why you Stalin?"

"Exercising when you get older is so important! My granny started walking 5 miles a day when she turned 65. Now she's 92 and we don't know where the hell she is."

"Hey can you take the next left? I gotta drop the cosby kids off at the pool."

"Why don't pirates like anal? Because they hate having to clean the poop dick."

"Why can't cats survive on Mars, even with spacesuits? Because Curiosity will kill them."

"I just have a step ladder I never knew my real ladder"

"The guy who coined the phrase,""I'm not gettin any younger."" The guy he said it to then coined the phrase,""No shit, Sherlock."""

"My 17 yr old grandpa joined the navy during WWII b/c ""he figured if the boat got shot he'd drown, &not have to worry about any other stuff."""

"How do you feel about euthanasia? I think we can exploit them by increasing our amount of sweatshops."

"I saved my girlfriends phone number as LOW BATTERY'. Whenever she calls and I'm not around, the wife takes the phone and plugs it to the charger unknowingly."