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Joke of the Day

"Why did the white girl die of alkalosis? Because she was too basic"

"The problem with political jokes is.. Too many get elected."

"Losing a husband can be hard: in my case it was almost impossible."

"INTERVIEWER to job applicant: ""Do you think you could come up with any reason you want this job other than your parents want you out of their house?"""

"3 Doors Down: ""Okay, so we've named the band. Now what?"""

"What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Have an ice day. It's a bad one, I know."

"I hate it when my wife asks if I've been drinking and I accidentally respond with a 9-minute air guitar solo."

"What was the name of Russia's first female traffic cop? Ivana Pulyova"

"[sermon] There will come a day when Christ will drive out evil from our land, and it will be the Judgment Day! *T-1000 shifts nervously*"

"I came home to my wife yelling ""The square root of pi!"" angrily. I told her she was being irrational."