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Joke of the Day

"Scarecrows love farming When I asked him why he loved farming so much he just said, ""Hay, it's in my jeans."""

"TIL: Norwegian women are so hot, because vikings only took the most beautiful women as prisoners. Gotcha ?"

"Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice."

"The beauty of meditation is it helps instill inner peace in someone that makes it easy to pick his pockets."

"""Grandpa, why did you let catastrophic global warming and 4+ Transformers movies happen?"" -- Your disappointed grandchildren"

"So now they're feeding cow marijuana infused grain? That isn't for me... ...those steaks are too high."

"What do you get when you eat Peanut Butter with Baked Beans? A fart that sticks to the roof of your ass."

"I have spent the past year looking for my ex's killer. but no one would do it."

"What do you call the red mushy stuff between the elephant's toes? Slow moving natives. Source: one of the all time great TV shows"

"I absolutely despise double-standards... Except when it's me, then it's okay."