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Joke of the Day

"What does a guy who's self-conscious about his uncircumcised penis say to his barber? Just a little off the tip- I mean top."

"Rape Baby A guy goes to job interview. His employer asks how his parents met. He says he is a rape baby. The boss asks if he mom is Christen. The guy asks how do you know?"

"WIFE:Did you get the spaghetti? ME:Better. WIFE:Better? ME:Look at this crazy, wild spaghetti I found outside! *hands just full of snakes*"

"Motstand ar meningslost. -Bjorn Borg"

"Police have arrested a cat for robbery Guess they've identified the purrpetrator"

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? You'd think R but it's the C he loves!"

"I hear most Muslims are capitalists... They're always going on and on about some Great Profit."

"Have you tried the new, ultra-realistic vibrator? ""No, how does it work?"" ""Right before you climax it comes, goes limp, farts, and turns itself off."""

"Alien: take me to your leader. Me: They all suck. How about I take you to this place I know where you can get amazing mini donuts?"

"I delete enough tweets to know I should never get a tattoo."