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Joke of the Day

"Whoever invented the iPhone charge cord is probably the same shitlord who invented the Capri Sun pouch."

"Up dawg A man sees a long lost friend he says... 'Up dawg' 'What that?' 'What's what?' 'What's up dawg?' 'Nothing much hbu' '...? Oh hahahahahaha '"

"Thanks to Day Light Savings.... ....I've masturbated for an hour and 30 seconds."

"In my old age I may have developed alzheimer's But at least I don't have alzheimer's."

"Why does a montonegran man keep a chair next to his bed? So he can have a rest after he gets tired from waking up."

"Lazy People Fact #5812672793 You were too lazy to read that number."

"A vegan, a Crossfitter and an atheist walk into a bar.. I know this because they told everyone within two minutes."

"I bet whenever a cow eats a lot of grass she says to her friends ""I've been eating like a cow!"" and they'd laugh and moo or whatever cows do"

"What do you call a friendly Mancunian midwife? Ultra sound"

"Why don't black people dream? Because the last black person who had a dream got shot."