20498

Joke of the Day

"With all the division in this country, I wanted to reach out... ...and tell my Latin friends ""Feliz ano nuevo!"""

"[interview] So your resume says you used to be in the theater yes that is correct What made you leave it? well, the movie ended so"

"What is the design philosophy of the iPhone 7? Jack off"

"What do a good vacuum cleaner and a bad vacuum cleaner have in common? They both suck."

"In baseball, why does it take longer to get from second to third than any other bases? Because there's a short stop in between."

"A wife is like a hand grenade you take away the ring, and there goes your house"

"Jesus walks in to a motel puts a couple of nails on the counter and ask the clerk ""can you put me up for a night?"""

"Please do not power off or unplug your machine. Installing update 45 of 9484727192873828277362517293847265127826262827262726273633833727..."

"Can someone just invent a mirror that takes pictures already!"

"ME ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you ? My Wife... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!"