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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an STI in your nose? Sniff-illis"

"What's a ducks favourite snack? Quackers! **EDIT: Spelling**"

"6yo's can't go to jail so I have no idea why this one's refusing to drive me home from the pub."

"If you plan a surprise party for me, I'll freak out that you mixed friends from all the separate facets of my life, and start killing people"

"Why aren't Japanese optimistic? Because not every cloud has a silver lining"

"I'm jealous of Santa... ...he can yell ""hoe hoe hoe"" at anyone and get away with it."

"When the Paris attacks occured, did anyone think to call Ja Rule for some answers?"

"I was going to go to the gym and run 7 miles this morning to continue trying to look good but then I remembered I own Photoshop."

"I like to walk up to psychics, punch them in the face and say... ""Betcha didn't see that one coming"""

"I went to a Star Wars themed bar yesterday They served everything in solo cups"