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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take my shoes off before I jump on a trampoline"

"There are two things I hate in every politician: their face."

"Accidentally used 13's shower gel, so I just copped a huge attitude, yelled at everyone and slammed some doors."

"""Don't dip your pen in company ink."" - HR training seminar explaining why I shouldn't sleep with the receptionist...I think."

"It's not that I don't want kids, it's just that I don't want a minivan."

"I'm really glad they named a park bench after my uncle in memorial. It fits, he was great at having homeless ppl sleep on top of him"

"Today I went to the protest The protesters aren't going to mace themselves"

"Have you ever been hit repeatedly by a wave? It hertz a lot"

"*Likes your fan page* *Hides activity from timeline*"

"I've been on a diet for a month and I've lost exactly 4 weeks."