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Joke of the Day

"Two buddies are working a job together John calls to tell Rick he can't make it today because he cut his dick in two. Now they're both half staffed."

"there's a guy with a pt cruiser at the car wash bet it's hard to keep clean when girls are just constantly smashing their pussies against it"

"Why don't pedophiles ever win marathons? They're always coming in a little behind."

"White people don't shoot each other in the streets like black people do. We do it in schools, because we have class."

"A pediatrician and funeral guy opened up a business together. The sign out front said ""Either way, you get your kid back"""

"How do they practice safe sex in Scotland? They brand the sheep that kick."

"What's the best thing about a Trmp versus Clinton election? One of them has to lose."

"I'll tell you what's wrong with modern society. Nobody ever drinks out of the skulls of their enemies anymore."

"Do a little dance... Drink a lot of rum... Fall down tonight..."

"those Ringling Bros elephants are hanging out in my backyard doing coke in my jacuzzi again"