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Joke of the Day
"I dated a girl with a lazy eye once. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time."
Next Joke
"A repost walks into a bar... ....Nah, nevermind. You've probably heard it before."
"5yo: I want a snack. M: You can have a yogurt smoothie. 5: I NEED CHOICES! M: Ok. You can have a yogurt smoothie or you can have nothing."
"Got an extension cord, and moved the microwave right into bed with me. This 2015 is looking like a good one already."
"What do you get when you have a mothball in each hand? One happy big-assed moth!"
"""You are gonna hate yourself in the morning if you stay up late"" Jokes on you I am gonna hate myself in the morning no matter what."
"A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her he shouts out the window... ""Pull over!"" ""No"" she shouts back ""a pair of socks!"""
"How do you make an Asian Blind? you put a windshield in front of them"
"Mommy! The boys at school pay me to climb trees! ""Honey, they only want you to do that so they can see your panties!"" Yeah, I know, that's why I take them off."
"What's the difference between a lawyer and an Irishman? [OC] One has passed a BAR."