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Joke of the Day

"Stop making mini snacks, people. Never have I been like, ""wow this is a delicious cupcake. If only it were 1/4 of the size."""

"Whenever I see a sign saying Fine Jewelry I think to myself, it's probably had enough warnings, why not just arrest it."

"2 is the only even prime number. It's kind of odd, isn't it?"

"Man opens a fridge and sees a rabbit... He says ""What are you doing there, rabbit?"" Rabbit replies ""This is a westinghouse, isn't it?"""

"Did you guys hear about the C++ developer that wanted to become a famous actor? He kept getting type cast."

"It's okay if you didn't notice that I switched my beard trimmer's setting from 6 to 5. The difference is stubble."

"Me: Compassion is my compass. Him: We've been lost for 3 days and you gave your coat to a bear that looked cold."

"What makes the Jewish Monopoly game so much harder than the original? Because the banker starts with all the money and never gives it away."

"Q: Why do blondes have orgasms? A: So they know when to stop having sex."

"A woman goes shopping and she buys one tomato, one steak, one yogurt, and a small bottle of soda. The cashier asks her : ""you're single, aren't you?"" Yes, how did you guess? Because you're ugly."