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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a cheeesburger and Reddit gold? A cheeseburger can't feed your ego."

"I was really bad in school. I failed maths so many times, I can't even count."

"Does any one know a program that converts mp3's into Nutella?"

"Hey, thanks for making sure ""Nazi"" is capitalized, iPhone. Way to honor them."

"A teacher and the students Teacher: What does the chicken give you? Students: eggs! Teacher: What does the pig give you? Students: bacon! Teacher: What does the cow give you? Students: homework!"

"Me: My weight is up. I really hate winter. Him: Don't be discouraged. You'll bounce back in spring once you shave your legs."

"CASHIER: its declined ME: run it again C: sir, is this one of those fake credit cards they mail out ME: no C: your name is ""local resident""?"

"""Sorry I haven't been tweeting much lately."" guy who actually thinks people notice when he's not tweeting"

"If prisoners were allowed to take their own mugshots they would be called, cellfies."

"No one will ever be as excited as a dad that just drove somewhere in less time than the GPS said it would take."