203214

Joke of the Day

"Claim to fame Celebrities walk on red carpet because they are famous. I walk on toilet paper because I'm the shit!"

"Why are fat couples always so close? Gravity"

"Why was the hipster sweating? ...He wore a scarf before it was cool."

"Where did Noah keep his bees? In the ark-hives."

"How can you tell a golf course is owned by Donald Trump? The rough is combed over the fairway"

"I place my finger on the police officer's lips. ""Shhh. Look, we were both speeding, ok? I forgive you."""

"My 6 year old has already asked me 4,327 questions this morning. I'm seriously considering getting another Vasectomy just to be safe."

"1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes."

"We're all big racist time bombs set for ""elderly."""

"*caches football thrown from off screen* ""Are you having problems with slow interne*video starts buffering*"