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Joke of the Day
"A parabola walked into a bar... It walked out again"
Next Joke
"What's heavier: a ton of gold or a ton of feathers? The feathers. The gold's weight is measured using the Troy measurement system in which an ounce is 12 ""regular"" ounces. The more you know..."
"What did the weeaboo Southerner name his daughter? Anna May"
"""Oh sure, they can eat their own poop, no problem. They just CAN'T eat chocolate. It'll kill them."" - God inventing dogs."
"Did you hear about the black guy that jumped off of the Empire State Building Black lives splatter"
"*getting murdered* First time? *sighs* You'll want to lacerate my abdominal aorta. *sighs, puts hand on the bottom of my ribcage* It's here."
"Doctor doctor, I only have 59 seconds to live! Be with you in a minute"
"Always respect a woman and never call her a bitch unless, you know, you're telling her to get you a sandwich."
"Three Roads To Ruin There are three roads to Ruin - Women, Gambling and Consultants. Women are the nicest, Gambling is the quickest but Consultants are the surest!"
"I have no home. I've got no control. There's no escape. I should probably look into getting a new keyboard."