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Joke of the Day

"Give a woman a compliment, she'll smile for a day.. Teach a woman to fish for compliments & she'll be annoying for the rest of her life."

"What does a Greek man with a speech impediment say after being burgaled? ""Stop those damn Thebes!"""

"I had really loud unprotected phone sex last week Now I have hearing AIDS."

"This happened over the weekend I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again."

"I have a very particular set of skills, skills I acquired over a long career. Skills that - ugh hold on *covers phone* MOM I'M ON THE PHONE!"

"I have found that a positive pregnancy test will cure hiccups."

"Satoru Iwata is in a much better place... ... he's with Nintendo."

"Zelda is a web browser Because Link appears in it."

"What caused ""The Black Death""? The police."

"Scarecrows love farming When I asked him why he loved farming so much he just said, ""Hay, it's in my jeans."""