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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a gay Mexican couple that just won the lottery? Juan in Emiliano"

"A man asked his wife what she wanted for Valentine's Day: Wife: ""A divorce."" Husband: ""I really wasn't planning on spending that much."""

"I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot."

"Toy Story has resulted in me not being able to throw away my childhood toys in case they get depressed and want to kill themselves."

"One of my hooter's girlfriends died yesterday... May she breast in peace :'("

"FB post from HS friend on pic: My boyfriend is such a dreamboat! My comment: So was the Titanic."

"You know you're not a Harry Potter fan if: you think a parcel-tongue is someone who can speak to packages."

"A man walks into a bakery right before closing time And asks, ""do you have any pita?"" The baker responds, ""no, there's naan left."""

"Freddy thought he was the true nightmare until he met Chuck Norris who roundhouse kicked and from that day Freddy hides in fear thinking a nightmare in texas"

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? You're hot but you make me really uncomfortable, sometimes my underwear gets sticky and I get burned"