202522

Joke of the Day

"Me: I wish Inigo Montoya appeared everytime ""literally"" is misused and did his ""You keep saying that word"" bit Genie: That ones on the house"

"Two cowboys walk into a bar... And the bar done et the slower one."

"Why couldn't the traffic light get a date? She was wearing no turn on red. :|"

"I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago... ...and so far, all it's been doing is gathering dust."

"The white girls were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of Ugg boots danced in their heads."

"Apparently Trump is a neo-Marxist He wants to seize the means of reproduction."

"[couples therapy] ME: She thinks I make bad decisions WIFE: He traded our car for a skateboard THERAPIST: *writing notes* This guy rules"

"Today, I got lit, went to Denny's, ordered a t-bone & eggs, and scarfed it all down... I guess you could say... it was a ""high-steaks"" scenario."

"I saw a man sitting on a curb looking down on his luck so I gave him a dollar he gave it back and said "" I'm not homeless, I'm married """

"Girls call me a wizard Because it's magic what I do with 3 inches."