202519

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the Offspring song about how to store mummies? ""You gotta keep 'em desiccated"""

"*paramedic holds me as a I lay dying* ME: Tell my family.. all I ever wanted..was a robot butler PM: With a top hat? ME: Of course you idiot"

"Why didnt the shrimp let anyone else eat? He was being SHELLFISH"

"What did David Bowie want for Christmas? Carrie Fisher."

"When a raccoon stands up and cracks his knuckles, stop shaving him immediately."

"You say ""I suggest you join this Facebook group and get 500 free Mafia Wars points"" but all I see ""Block me."""

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is heavy, and the other is a little lighter."

"I think i'm going to be famous! I met Jimmy Savile when I was young and I think he rubbed off on me!"

"Did you hear about the all-leper boxing world championship final I hear it was a real face off in the second round"

"What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother? Leave the plunger in the pot."