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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler? Usain Bolt can finish a race"

"Happy 1 month anniversary to the 37 browser tabs I have open."

"What car does Jesus drive? A Chrysler"

"What do Subway and Chuck E Cheese's have in common? Shitty food."

"I saw two tramps passionately making out in public. So I shouted, ""Get a box."""

"I was only young when I learned to count....... I was only young when I learned to count. It was odd at first, even then."

"What do you call a teacher that doesn't fart in public? a private tooter."

"Uh, excuse me, Mr. Swagger, Either walk a little faster or buy a belt. Thanks, homie."

"A MEXICAN AND A BLACK MAN JUMP OFF A ROOF. WHO LANDS FIRST? A: WHO CARES"

"I always carry a lighter in case I end up at an impromptu concert...or need to set someone's house on fire. Either way, I'm prepared."