202416
Joke of the Day
"Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms!!"
Next Joke
"[in the woods] Me: *rescues a deer from a bear trap* Deer: I have a boyfriend"
"""Are you a cop? You have to tell me if you're a cop."" ""I'm a cop."" ""So you're a cop AND a gun dealer? Random, but okay let's do this shit"""
"Why is the white girl so odd? Because she can't even. I'll be over in /r/dadjokes if you need me."
"Why did Snoop Dogg lose control of his Pontiac? The drizzle"
"I tried crossbreeding my cows. I was attempting to create a new type of milk that was super sweet. Instead, none of the cows would even produce milk. It was a complete and udder failure."
"When Santa's helpers take pics of themselves is it called an Elfie?"
"Wife: The kid was holding a sparkler. Me: ...I thought her arm was on fire. Wife: You hosed her down for 9 minutes."
"Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?"
"Have I told you lately... ...is the least romantic line a toll-collector ever said to his girlfriend."