202235

Joke of the Day

"I'm going to put my grandmother on speed dial. I'll call it Instagram."

"All white people are part Asian... Their cock's Asian"

"What do you call an imp that is rushes to the hospital? Impatient OC from r/dadjokes"

"Don't worry, officer, this isn't my blood. Really, stop searching me! I feel fine!"

"What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. "

"I didn't quit my job today I wanted to quit, but they threatened to fire me"

"I thought I would have to kill my bitch of a wife, but then she suffocated on saran wrap. I was so Glad."

"I swallowed some food coloring. My doctor says I'm OK But I feel like I've dyed a little inside"

"In Canada, we don't count by Mississippi's, we count by Saskatchewan's."

"Why can't the pirate get to any subreddits? He keeps typing /arrr/"