201806

Joke of the Day

"Huge sale this weekend, we have too many mountain lions, please come buy a mountain lion, this was a horrible business plan, one guy got ate"

"Why do most people from Russia wear track suits? Because they are Russin'"

"I loathe tweets like ""Be somebody's beautiful tragedy"". Might as well tweet using a random word generator. ""Be golf brisket honkytonk"""

"Roses are red, Relationships are rare... BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY ROCKIN' EVERYWHERE!"

"How do lesbian carpenters work? No studs. All tongue in groove."

"How about a Home Alone movie where Macaulay Culkin is the dad and he leaves his kids at home because that's all he knows?"

"So I called an Indian restaurant They didn't take my reservation."

"HR: What are some of your strengths? Me: Shifting the blame HR: That's a horrible reply Me: No, your question was! HR: Wow, you're good!"

"Before taking viagra, ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for sex. Riiight."

"Behind every successful man stands a surprised woman and behind her stands the surprised mother-in-law and behind her,your surprised Dad."