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Joke of the Day

"If I put a cheddar cheese stick in a pencil sharpener Will it come out sharp or shredded?"

"My dad told me that the future was in my hands Didn't know that the future was 9 inches long"

"Little boy to airline pilot: ""You're a pilot?!?!? That must be exciting."" Pilot: ""Not if I do it right."""

"Famous Deaths happen in 3s... Sunday it was Mr Fuji, Yesterday it was Gene Wilder, Today it was the Minnesota Vikings season."

"What happened to the magical tractor? It turned into a field"

"Why did the baker have smelly hands? Because he kneaded a poo."

"I had a winning lottery ticket but I couldn't cash it in before it expired and now I get nothing. I am *such* a Democrat."

"My father died recently and I came into a bunch of money. I decided to buy a car and pay cash... and the man at the dealership asked me, ""Why are all these bills so sticky?!"""

"i wish humans were as excited to meet each other as dogs"

"The judge told me I might get capital punishment for my crimes, and asked me if I knew what it meant.. I didn't, so I told him to use it in a sentence."