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Joke of the Day

"Sorry girls, I'm no Bruno Mars, I won't catch a grenade for you. In fact, if such situation ever happened, I'd use you as a human shield."

"I asked my doctor ""Just how bad is my halitosis?"" ""Pretty fucking bad,"" he replied, hanging up the phone."

"Look into a dog's eyes while it's pooping and you'll understand Nietzsche."

"Inception (2010) - Five men and one woman plot to nap on a plane."

"What has eight legs and an IQ of forty? Four guys watching a baseball game."

"A man goes to the doctor and says; Patient: wow, this has to be the smallest doctor's office in the world. Doctor: Get the f*** out of here! I'm taking a shit!"

"How is a 9 Volt Battery similar to an Anus? You know you shouldn't, but eventually you're gunna lick it."

"My girlfriend told me she wanted to wake up to Oral I don't know what she expected but it sure as hell wasn't a dick in her mouth"

"Why does everybody love honey? Because it never gets old."

"What is Chuck Norris' only weakness? Cancer"