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Joke of the Day

"Why is Santa Claus always a man? Because no woman will wear same dress year after year for same occasion."

"There are 10 types of people in the world Those that can count and those that can't"

"My kid's insults to each other: ""you have fat lips like Momma."" ""well, you have a big butt like Momma. Thanks, kids."

"[graduation speech] all of our parents had sex during the same year and i think that's really great"

"Three Old Nuns... Three Old Nuns are sitting on a park bench, when a man runs up and flashes them. Two of them have a stroke... The other one can't reach."

"I hate when someone makes the comment ""he says what we're all thinking"" when he obviously said nothing about sexy lesbians."

"Only funny if you own a dog: I think my dog must have a very cold nose. Every time it walks into a room, all the other dogs sit down."

"If anyone is interested I'll be signing books tomorrow at Barnes & Noble from 6:00pm until I get escorted out by security."

"Q: Why did the mother of twins name both of her sons Edward? A: Because two Eds are better than one."

"LIFE HACK: A pancake makes a great and edible mouse pad."