200934

Joke of the Day

"How much money do gay bars make? A buttload."

"My 4yo brought his Woody doll to the store and was swinging it around. I told him loudly to stop hitting people with his Woody. Parenting."

"If you ever feel dumb, remember sometimes sloths grab their own arms thinking they are tree branches and fall to the ground."

"My boyfriend broke up with me today He said he wanted to celebrate Independence day"

"What do you call a sleepwalking nun? Roaming Catholic."

"Me: You've got the same stupid duck face in every picture! Daffy: Erm... :|"

"German girlfriend My german girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performances on a scale of 1-10. Last night we tried anal. She kept yelling 9. That's the best I've ever done."

"We should just name hurricanes after politicians. That way we wouldn't have to worry about them actually coming through with anything."

"I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself."

"How do you find the pilot at a party? He'll tell you."