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Joke of the Day

"I need your cheesiest jokes (please) I've had a really awful day and frankly need cheering up. I want to hear your worst, corniest jokes to make me smile."

"He arrives mysteriously. Helps others, performs miracles, is betrayed, dies, is resurrected, and ascends into the heavens. - E.T. (1982) PG"

"Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason."

"The Most Hipster Job Of All Time Is... Being a Mortician. Morticians are so hipster that their work doesn't get more popular; instead it just goes further underground."

"The coal industry has been under a lot of pressure to change In other news, the diamond industry continues to grow."

"I'm at my most fake news when I tell my husband how much money I spent shopping."

"At first I didnt really like my new hairstyle... ...but then I realised that it kinda grew on me."

"It's me Goan Goan who?...... Goan fuck yourself"

"75% of my day consists of looking at the clock and not believing it"

"A list of con-man jokes. What? You were expecting your money's worth? Now begger off before I set Fred on you."