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Joke of the Day

"How is Trump different from Hitler? Unlike Hitler Trump wants to round up every Juan. Edit : No offence to Trump supporters or anyone!"

"Sketch artist: Any more details on the attacker? Me: No, that's all I saw *shows me it's just a picture of a fist* Me: *sobbing* That's him"

"I married a chinese millionaire Ka Ching"

"*into earpiece during date* Ok now maintain eye contact No not that kind of contact Bro do not touch her eyes Get your eye away from hers"

"HER: this isn't working out ME: is it because I'm too literal? HER: I just don't want to see you any more ME: ok *gently closes her eyes*"

"How many heterosexual males does it take to screw in a light bulb in San Francisco? Both of them."

"In Louisville, KY where bars are open till 4 am. Here's my slogan for them: ""Get upchucky in Kentucky."""

"A friend and me were arguing over whether masterbation is better with lube or not . . . different strokes for different folks, I guess. (I think I came up with that but I'm not sure)"

"What do Rabbis do with the Foreskins after a circumcision?... Sell them to the gays as bubble gum"

"I hate all 1970's female solo artists What a bunch of pre-madonnas"