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Joke of the Day

"I can't wait till Harriet Tubman is on the $20 bill That means I can legally own a black person again."

"Why do Christian figureheads not like science? Because it's about two Adams bonding."

"What's a panda's favorite drink? Fanta."

"I refuse to be an organ donor. Mainly because I'd like to be a fully-functional zombie if I rise for the apocalypse."

"I guess I'm getting old. Now when I hear ""Pour Some Sugar On Me"" I think of 2 things. Who's cleaning it up and I hope we don't get ants."

"A termite walks into a bar... And asks, ""Is the bar tender here?"""

"Why couldn't the penguin turn around in the phone booth? Because he had a javelin through his head."

"How did Moses make his tea in the morning? Hebrewed it."

"I froze some paint today. Now it's just one solid color."

"What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheeeeeettttt!"