200621

Joke of the Day

"I am so used to automatic doors at work that when I come across one I have to physically open I just stand there like a dummy"

"Why are conspiracy theorists always fat? They believe the proof is in the pudding."

"What's the difference between an incontinent person and a 1980's Renault? One's a leaker, one's a Le Car."

"What did Trump get for Christmas? Stage IV rectal carcinoma with a recto-vesicular fistula so he farts out his penis...hopefully."

"What kind of bees produce milk? Boobees"

"Kids so mixed... They won't show up in black and white pictures."

"whenever I think of the happy birthday song I imagine someone softly crying and singing it under their breath, blowing out a candle alone"

"What do they call the Hunger Games in Ethiopia? Games."

"What do you call a pirate who is all out of reales(Silver coins)? Long Gone Silver... /drops mic"

"Why is saying "" I'm sorry"" and ""I apologize"" mean the same thing... ...unless your at a funeral."