200426

Joke of the Day

"My friend keeps hiding Disney films in my lunch. I'm fed up."

"WELL IF BEING DISCHARGED FROM THE HOSPITAL ISNT THE BEST TIME TO ASK ABOUT A THREESOME THEN IM FRESH OUT OF IDEAS"

"Thanks autocorrect. I wanted her to know that I shaved my duck."

"What did the blind, one-legged retarded kid get for Christmas? cancer"

"Mirror Mirror on the Wall... What is my focal point?"

"What do you call a Mexican guy shouting at someone? An argumentative ese"

"""Nothing there? Better bark at it."" - a dog"

"Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy."

"Why is it better to date a woman with heavy thighs during the winter? Your ears stay warmer."

"DATING TIP: PULL THE CHAIR OUT FOR HER. PICK THE CHAIR UP & FOLD IT. HIT HER OVER THE HEAD WITH THE CHAIR. GET THE 3 COUNT. NEW WWE CHAMPION"