200360

Joke of the Day

"I live life by 3 rules: 1- Get ripped. 2- Stay ripped. 3- Live in denial so that life is bearable."

"What's the easiest way to kill a bison calf. Put it in the back of your SUV."

"When I was 18 I got Coal from Santa Yup, raising Cole as a single mom was a punishment for being bad, I guess."

"I like my coffee like I like my slaves. Free"

"How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to pay a Mexican to do it, two to deport him afterwards."

"What time does Sean Connery get to Wimbledon Tennish"

"I hope the zombies start with people that talk to me when I'm obviously counting."

"Does North Korea remember what happened the last time a country attacked Hawaii?"

"I've quit my new job as a postman..... .....they handed me my first letter to deliver, I looked at it and thought: ""This isn't for me."""

"Did you hear about the dyslexic who walked into a bra"