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Joke of the Day

"""Brace yourself."" -lazy orthodontist"

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"Why wouldn't you teach a woman how to ski? Because there's no snow between the kitchen and the bedroom.."
"All the good guys aren't taken; they're at the bar on Tuesday nights. Trust me. I'm a stranger on the internet."
"How Much Wood Would a Woodchuck Chuck if a Woodchuck Could Chuck Norris? *All of it.* *All of the wood.*"
"How do you break a Polacks finger? Punch him in the nose."
"Why are gay guys with big dicks the first ones picked at the bar? Low-hanging fruit"
"My internet went out today so I went downstairs and talked to my family They seem like nice people."
"you live and learn, me, i try to die and unlearn as much possible. thats the difference between you and me, those things"
"Spent over an Hour at the wife's grave this Morning Bless her, She thinks I'm Digging a Pond."
"Why do Egyptian farts smell the same? They have toots in common."