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Joke of the Day

"I put a life-size alien doll in my passenger seat for halloween and I've caught myself talking to it 3 times"

"I thought my neighborhood had turned very pro-Trump... Turns out they just put out their jack-o-lanterns."

"How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Trick question. Deadheads screw in sleeping bags."

"Overheard at Starbucks: Man: Would you like to try a pumpkin spice latte? Woman: No. Since Trump came on the scene I am boycotting everything orange."

"How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? Fruit salad"

"Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to... Unless you're in prison (I'll see myself out)"

"Hitler was the worst camp counselor ever."

"My Life get it, cause my life is a joke! *badum tisss*"

"What do you call it when a psychic midget escapes from prison? A small medium at large."

"What did the mathematician and the dentist talk about? Calculus"