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Joke of the Day

"Giant bird goes to a psychiatrist.. ''I feel like I'm ignored all the time.'' ''Maybe it's because you're ostrich sized''"

"Sex is like a gas station..!! Sometime you get full service... Sometimes you gotta ask for service and sometimes you have to be happy with self service.!"

"Once upon a time... There was an idiot who thought I was gonna tell a joke. Have a nice day."

"Did your hear about the man with a broken left arm and broken left leg?"

"Sometimes when I look into the sky I get overwhelmed with emotion and eat the nearest entire tree and everything living in that tree"

"Why did the USAS with frag rounds fall over? Because it was... imbalanced."

"Crap happens Called in sick to work cause I had a stomach ache and felt constipated. Got fired. Couldn't give a crap even if I wanted to."

"[answering door on halloween] NEIGHBORHOOD MOM: please stop giving the children hamsters ME *hands full of hamsters*: but it's Halloween"

"Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had no-BODY to go with."

"Your son has been suspended ""for what?"" He hit a kid who was picking on another child ""so what, yall ran out of ice cream to give him?"""