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Joke of the Day

"Giant bird goes to a psychiatrist.. ''I feel like I'm ignored all the time.'' ''Maybe it's because you're ostrich sized''"

"*storms out of office bathroom* *slams roll of single-ply toilet paper on boss's desk* I CAN'T WORK LIKE THIS"

"What do you call a Battlefront without EA? Bttlfront"

"The difference between Jazz Hands and Blues Hands... The number of fingers and where you tell people to put them."

"I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once."

"Do you like surfing the net? Oh yes I've really taken a shine to it. (Moon to Sun)"

"LPT. Before making any promises to a girl, masturbate twice. It may change your opinion."

"In New York someone gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor bastard."

"Who the hell called it 69ing... Instead of cuddlingus."

"What's the difference between a seamstress and a whale A seamstress cuts up frills and a whale fucks up krill's."