200175

Joke of the Day

"[at work] ""Mornin, Margaret."" ""Mornin. You're late today."" [looks at watch] ""Not as late as your dead husband though, am I?"""

"Roses are red. Monsters are green. Just look in the mirror. You'll know what I mean."

"My friend is a sex offender. He never abused anybody, people are just offended at the thought of having sex with him."

"What does the bees do with their honey? They eat it, If they eat too much, they will get Diabeetis."

"What does BMW mean Some say Bitch Moan Wine others say Black mans Willy Post what you think"

"'Please, I need this', I whisper as I try to steal a baby goat from the petting zoo."

"My girlfriend told me I was one in a million... When I looked through her text messages, I had to admit she was right"

"Do you know what a girl says when she sees a big...NSFW Do you know what a girl says when she sees a big dick? *when the person says: 'no what'* I do"

"I used to be addicted... To the hokey pokey but I turned myself around"

"I'm one of those people that no one warned you about."