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Joke of the Day

"Hey girl, you must be called Pepsi You're cheap, drunk all day, and you ain't gonna carry yourself home..."

"What's the difference between your wife and your job? Your job sucks"

"What do you call a myth from the middle east? A turban legend"

"Our Xmas dinner also happens to be my New Year's resolution Bone-less turkey"

"How did the Somali terrorist describe his flight? ""It was dynamite!"""

"Why does it take southerners so long to do their chores? Because slavery is illegal."

"My grandfather died during the Holocaust He fell off a guard tower."

"My best guy friend and I vowed if we're still single at 45, we def won't marry each other because who wants to marry someone no one likes?"

"This one has always tickled me! My father is the inventor of the rear view mirror. He means a great deal to me but looking back we're not as close as we seem!"

"[Club] Me: *has debilitating crush on a nerd* Nerd: What you feel is a burst of norepinephrine increasing arousal and focus- Me: *swoons*"