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Joke of the Day

"A guy was lying on his bed [NSFW] A guy was lying on his bed, pulling off his boxers when his wife walked in and said, ""you spoil those dogs"""

"A wise man once said, a cheating wife is like a deck of playing cards... You need a heart to love her A diamond to marry her A club to smash her fucking head in And a spade to bury the bitch..."

"You know those couples who are into butt stuff from time to time? It's only occas-anal."

"Standing behind a hot guy on a treadmill saying 'don't worry baby, I'll catch you if you fall' makes him run for a really really long time"

"What did Harry Potter order when he went to the bar? Expecto-Patron-On-Ice"

"My Masseuse just read 'Cinderella' to me ~ That's the last time I ask for a happy ending."

"A mexican magician tell his audience he will disappear on the count of 3 ""Uno, Dos..."" *poof* He disappeared without a tres"

"Why did the white bassist refuse to play the show? He had a bass only a brother could love."

"What does a code-switching trilingual Russian say when he wants to increase his bovine supply? Mas cow."

"I don't believe in anything I can't see, hear or touch, like calories. My thighs, however, are clearly very gullible."