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Joke of the Day

"A Mexican Magician... A Mexican magician says he will dissappear on the count of three. Uno... Dos... *poof* He's disappeared... Without a tres."

"Only 2 phrases can change a woman's mood: ""I Love You"" and ""50% Off""."

"A tree falls on my kitchen, who's dead? My wife, if she doesn't clean that shit up."

"Of all the things ""Inside Amy Schumer""... ..why can't any of them be funny?"

"Gift before the Prom ""I'm ready for my first prom daddy"" ""Here, take this box son... And don't make the mistake I made"" ""Whats in the box dad"" ""...Condoms"""

"Her: Oh, a handsome man like you must be used to compliments. Me: Yes, but do go on..."

"What do you call a man who has been dead and buried for thousands of years? Pete."

"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, as long as there's a bed inside."

"The only thing worse than having a small penis... Is having small arms."

"Teacher: Class we will have only half a day of school this morning. Class: Hooray! Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon!"