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Joke of the Day

"What do the Superbowl and the OJ Simpson Saga have in common? They both feature a slow, old, white bronco."

"So, did you hear what Lateesha get on her SATs? Barbecue sauce."

"What do you get when you cross an insomniac, dyslexic, and an agnostic? Someone who stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog."

"I often worry about the safety of my children ... Especially the one who is still awake at midnight and talking back right now."

"Wife: how'd you get that burn on your arm?? Me (looking fabulous): not from your curling iron"

"Texts from mom: Thanks to the supreme court, now it's not just women who won't marry you."

"1% battery..... Because I like to live on the"

"[pirate ship capturing another ship] Pirate: Prepare to be bored! Other Captain: Don't you mean boarded? *pirate opens stamp collection*"

"I hate it when you hold the door open for people And all they can say is, ""Oh fucking hell, I can see you having a shit!"""

"Dyslexics are teople poo!"