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Joke of the Day
"Under the sea, under the sea...wouldn't the water pressure crush mermaids, realistically?"
Next Joke
"""this has never happened before"" is that a yes or no? ""let me check"" [talks into radio] ""steve can we let a dog on the rollercoaster?"""
"A man walks into a bar, He says ouch."
"What do root vegetables do at tha club? Turnip"
"[Voice from police helicopter] PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! *raises hands* *takes flattering selfie in helicopter spotlight* *uploads new avi*"
"""You're not gonna get a quote out of me."" - Donald J. Trump ""Wrong."" - Donald J. Trump"
"Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead."
"And the he told me he was kilt shopping. So, apparently I'm married to Braveheart."
"A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest turns to the rabbi and says, ""Hey, did you hear the one about us doing this?"""
"I like for my resolutions to be attainable so this year I resolve that I will neither become the pope nor will I become a cannibal."