199746

Joke of the Day

"Teacher: welcome to health class Me: my friend said you can get a girl pregnant by kissing her? Teacher: sir please just mop the floor"

"Sperm whales were created when Chuck Norris masterbated in the ocean."

"Why did the walrus go to the tupperware party? To find a tight seal"

"I wonder, if I say ""Hi"" to everyone on here, how many ""Hi's"" I get back? So let me say Hi...."

"Why a centipede cannot fly coach? Not enough leg room!"

"The iron vein ran out... It was only a minor issue though."

"Don't sleep with politicians. They all have aides."

"If a British person calls 911 and says, ""It's a bloody mess"" how does the operator know if there's blood or the person is just being British"

"I work in a library and a black guy asked me if there are any coloured printers... I said, ""you're racist for clicking on this joke""."

"If I ever get a dog I'm going to teach him how to fetch useful things like tv remotes, iPhones and men who like red wine."