199746

Joke of the Day

"Teacher: welcome to health class Me: my friend said you can get a girl pregnant by kissing her? Teacher: sir please just mop the floor"

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"Gang of three hijack truckload of Viagra. Police are looking for three hardened criminals."
"The difference between men and women is that for men, ""stabby"" is not an emotion."
"Doctor doctor I'm manic-depressive. Calm down. Cheer up. Clam down. Cheer up. Calm"
"In honor of Pi Day: Who founded the round table? Sir Cumference"
"What's the difference between a cow and the Holocaust? A cow can't be milked for 70 years."
"So lemme get this straight. Han Solo can understand Chewbacca just fine but at age 900, basic English grammar still goes over Yoda's head."
"I know it's illegal for me to cook my own alcohol... But still."
"Noticed a spider while I was driving,so I did what any normal person would do and carefully trapped it in a napkin and set my car on fire."
"I'm not that smart... and have no clue as to what any word means when it has more then two syllables. How will I ever shave?"
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