199719

Joke of the Day

"My laptop is creeping me out. It keeps saying hello to me. Maybe it's because it's a Dell."

"I like my women like I like my coffee. Given away for free at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting."

"Superman and Eyore had a baby. The baby's name? Supereyore"

"Why did the Easter Bunny have to fire the duck? Because he kept quacking all the eggs!"

"The only thing I can fix in this world tonight is another drink."

"How much cocaine can Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men."

"How does Sean Connery shave? Ctrl+esh"

"What do you call a manager that hasn't grown up yet? A kidager"

"It's time to end double standards. It doesn't make sense that if a girl sleeps with a bunch of guys, she's a slut... But if a guy does the same thing, he's gay."

"I just thought of this while at a local hockey game. Why can't dogs play hockey? They always get called for roughing."